In a Flash.

BON, Chatting up some of the customers brings up interresting stories at times, such as this one story about our old friend El Indie. Our dear faithful customer was peacefully puffing a cig when El Indie came up to her (I can imagine his calm, innocent face. HAR HAR). It was winter, and so he had a jacket on, with clothes under (this is very important you see). This is when he decided he would RIP OPEN his coat and expose his clothed body to our smoking customer.

All the while screaming bloody murder.

Now, when people ask me if I make these stories up, I can now refer them to customers, or witnesses as I like to think of them, of these events. Go ahead, come on, ask them.

I MUST relate this to yet another situation my cooli-o friend told me just this morning. At the long awaited release of the new Harry Potter book, my friend had calmly exited the bookstore and was walking through the parking lot when this man in a burgundy robe, yes, burgundy, appeared. Before she knew what was happening, he WHIPPED open his robe and yelled:

I LOVE HARRY POTTER!!!!!

Can you imagine a naked man yelling this, butt naked, in a parking lot, while shaking his hips from side to side? Oh, AND taking almost dancing steps in your direction? I can, and I find it quite disturbing.

So to all you Harry Potter fans, beware.

Guns.

Now that spring is showing it's sexy face to our wonderful city of Montreal,

my D & D is an oven. I mean, I'm hot behind the counter, and when I'm hot, I get drowsy. So this is when mr. X comes in and orders a coffee.

"Am I fat? Do I look fat?" He asks after i place the coffee in front of him. I of course answer with a very french "Ben Non!"He then asks me which donut is the least fatty. After pointing out the whole wheat and old fashioned ones, he waves his hand and says:
"Nah i'll have the chocolate honey dipped,"
GOOD JOB.
Anyway, he pays his fat-saturated donut with coffee.
Then came THE question.

"Do they have guns?"

I thought hard, wondering who "they" was. I figured it was the customers in the lobby, I thought right.
"No, not that I know of..."
"I don't know," he continuued. "You sure?" Then he went to sit down with these men.
I thought of the many things I could have said to this odd question.

a)YES they do! They're out to get you!

b) Yes, but shhh don't tell anyone (wink wink)

c) No, BUT I DO!

El Indie.

So this story begins at the beginning of my donut serving career.
This man strolls in like..wel like he's coming to order a coffee.
He does, order I mean, and pays with a 20.
"So, 17.43$ is your change..." I said, with a smile of course.
He looks at the ten and the five with dawning confusion.
"No, I payed with a ten." He takes the ten and gives it back to me.

What to do?

a) Agree with the crazy man and take the ten
b)Be paranoid and think he's testing you
c)Out of honesty, give him back the damn ten

I decided to go with c)...even if I was a bit of b) also..

"No, you payed me with a 20!" I almost yelled at his face
This back and forth had been going on for quite some time.
"HERE take the ten, it's yours!" I pushed the ten at him. He took it and sat down.

Then, he started talking to himself..or to the whole restaurant,
whichever you prefer really.

He came back later on, pulled the same BS about the 20 and his stupid change. It didn't take quite as long to push the ten towards him and move on with my "work".

Not too long after this second "argument" he came back, but I was sitting down this time.
I shall sum up his words
"How much is a can? No? It's ok, don't get up," (I hadn't moved)"No, please it's ok, never mind, no, no, it's ok! No can!" Then he walked out.
Viva El Indie!

It's ok..Is for you!

I'm once again hardly working at my lovely D&D when this man comes to the counter. He had already ordered a while back, so I'm guessing: he wants another donut!
"Which one's your favorite?"

Thats easy!

"Jelly. No questions asked."
"Alright, I'll have one of those."
So, I give him the donut, he pays for it. Then, as I'm turning around he says:
"It's for you."

Hey stupid, I work here I get them for free.

"Oh, no that's ok!" Tending the Jelly donut to him.
"No no, don't worry, they won't see you!" Pointing to the surveillance camera.
"Um..ok..thanks..?"
Then he left, all happy at this great gesture he did.
Congrads.
I then handed over the donut to someone in the lobby.
They were happy.

But HONESTLY you don't do things like that!

Am I The Crazy One After All?

Ok, so minus the rabbit poo, isn;t this amazing?
I found my rabbits' bowl, empty, except for this one piece of paper.
I swear on both of their heads, I did not put it there!

Disguise.

Hmm, Am I crazy? Are they just superintelligent?

What do you say?

Red Whale Adventures Continued...

As my D & D friend follows me around everywhere now..and is beginning to nag... I decided to take pictures of her to annoy her, since she absolutely despises being photographed...

Taking the metro...

Just studying some philosophy...

So yah, she's getting comfortable. pff.

The Red Whale.

So I was hard at work as usual. When I was overcome with sudden inspiration.

The scotch tape was empty. I must change it.

The intelligence of my boss impresses me everytime. He buys the whole scotch tape shabang, with the plastic holder and all, when we really just need the roll to put in the tape dispenser.

So there I was, pulling the scotch tape thing apart. I had the leftover pieces in my hand, destined to end up in the garbage. Then I thought t myself:

What ever can you do with an empty tape holder?

This is when Red Whale was born.

Obviously, Red Whale needed a proper habitat, Dunkin' Donuts was no place for a whale!

She seemed at home in her new habitat.

Don't you think so?

This is the beginning of the Red Whale's adventures.

The Artist.

Busy night, studying for an exam between coffee pots.
Just mopped up a juice mess when this very facially hairy man mumbles something I could not even pretend to understand.
I smile and take cover behind the counter.
He goes out, smokes a cigarette.

I observed quietly.

Then he came in, approached the counter.

"I have an exchange to make." He began.

"Umm...for what?"

"A painting...for a coffee."

Jaw drop please.

"I mean..a coffee, it's 1,57$, for a painting, don't have any gifts to give or anything?"

I had seen the painting, worthy of a 6 grade art project for father's day.

I politely refused, waited for him to say something understandable for he had began mumbling again.

When he turned away I took refuge cleaning tables. He gave me a dirty look, took his painting and left.

Now, I wish I had taken the painting just to have proof of this little story of mine.

Anyone would have wanted it?

Bids start at 1,57$

Pokerface

A true story...

How I love Vanier...