Shopping Carts.

Alright.

I have a mystery to solve. You know those carts in the grocery stores? No, not the tiny ones that are basically for "shoppers in training" aka KIDS, no no, the big ones, adult sized.

So you know, in downtown grocery stores, there are not always parking lots for these places. So these carts see no need in leaving the store to get to people's cars. No. They stay inside.

So, can someone explain to me how a grocery cart found itself in front of the funeral home right next to my appartment building. Hmm? How did it get out? There are these metal poles (How extremely obese people squeeze between them beats me) outside the doors to avoid this exact situation. The closest grocery store was an Esposito. A crappy Esposito. The closest grocery store with a parking lot is a minimum 15 minute walk, or roll if you're a shopping cart!

Anyway, the worst part is there was no homeless person pushing it. That would have surprised me less. At least it had a use. But no, it was abandoned, in front of a funeral home.

WHY?

The Pussy.

How evocative this title must sound. Strangely enough this word holds new meaning to me now.
As a short introduction, I have been working at the SPCA now, so, no longer with weird people ordering coffee but weird people wanting or no longer wanting animals. This one case was the highlight of my day if not week at work. It was Sunday when...
An indian man comes to the counter to abandon his cat for whatever reason, something like he had to move and was not allowed or something, yah good reason mr.
So, the great part was that he had the kickass Indian accent that I am in love with. I quote:
"Please take my pussy, it is very good pussy, pussy does not bite...very good pussy!"
The girl at the reception desk is my new hero for not peeing her pants at this first demonstration of wit.
"Yes," she begins, " very nice KITTY," she emphasizes.
The man goes on referring to the cat as "the pussy" and even comes out with the comment: "Yes, very furry pussy, furry like curry!" I cannot repeat enough that it is for some reason so much funnier in that damn accent!
The lines just keep on going.
"Is it a boy or girl sir?"
"Vell, it vas a boy, but not any more! Snip Snip!" With the scissor gesture we all know too well.
As she asks him to fill out the release form, name address etc., he looks at her and says:
"I may look educated but I am not!" Smiling as he says it too!
The moral of the story: I love the Indian accent, and cats shall now be referred to as "Pussies" much more appropriate.

Midnight.

Late night metro ride.
Already that the idea of being out in the public transit system, as sketchy as it is in daylight, past midnight was unsettling, I managed to stumble upon a crazies.
I was at good ol' Lionel-Groulx metro, pretending to listen to music even if my ipod's battery had long since failed me. I was also standing directly in front of one of those useful screens which tells me when the next metro arrives. I will not even get into the question of funding for these screens everywhere when I would prefer later and more frequent metros by far. I mean, knowing that the metro is coming in 14 minutes is not making it come any faster!
Anyways, as I contemplated, this slighty intoxicated man hobbled over and struck up a conversation.
"It's mignight..." he began, obviously entrancing me with his undeniable charm.
"Six minutes," he continued, making reference to the screen that I could most definitely read like a big girl. I kind of nodded and "mhmmed" to acknowledge his presence and not cause insult.
He left me alone for a few minutes, struck up a conversation with the screen itself when the Canadians appeared. I didn't really get what he said, but, it had to do with the Canadians.
"Threeee minutes!" he exclaimed, sounding almost excited. I loved that he sounded so psyched, but when he started popping out these killer dance moves such as the drunken shuffle/twist, I really started enjoying it.
As the metro approached, 3 minutes later, I wondered if maybe, these screens did actually serve a purpose in the end.
What am I saying, I could have said the metro was coming in "banana" and he would have been excited.