Vanilla Cream.

Alright, so I started working the day shifts now.
This..(sorry but its true..) really fat, white haired, cross eyed, crooked teethed, smelly man that came up to the counter.
He pointed to the Vanilla creams.
"Two." He barked. I could almost feel the spittle that showered from his mouth.
After bagging his donuts and giving him his change, he exited, shuffling his feet.
My coworker approached me then.
"That man there, you be careful with him," she warned.
"Why?" Was my obvious response.
"Because he might just shit in front of you."
At first I thought this was some sort of expression and asked if she meant..literally shit in front of me.
She then replied that, yes, this man shits himself for all to see inside the Dunkin. She explained how he'll srunch up his face and 'force' not to get into too much detail.
Lets just say I was at the same time completely disgusted and yet..I find this quite hilarious.

Anyway, yesterday, a Saturday, he came back. I panicked when I saw my boss had taken the rack of Vanilla cream donuts in the back.
He saw the empty space where his precious donuts usually were and started pointing and uttering weird souounds that might have been words.
"They're in the back one second!" I quickly explained, giving my present customer his change.
That is when it happened.
I saw the face, I heard the forcing noise, I.. I witnessed what my coworker had warned me about.
I ran to the back and fetched his donuts, distraught and horrified.
This is my Mr. Vanilla Cream, who, I've been told is forbidden from using our bathroom because well..lets just keep it at he makes QUITE the mess.